Lola Haze Perfect Package Bodysuit Review and Body Ramblings

In the forever struggle of dealing with the fact that my 30+ year old body is simply not the same as my 20 year old body has been a challenge. Recently, at work, we had a health screening, and it was disheartening. Comparing my stats from 5 years ago to now, I’ve gained 26 pounds. My waist went up 3 inches! Although my other numbers are still in the healthy range, they’re nowhere near what they were back then. At the end of the day, I want to be in good health and also equally strong. I’ve finally got some of my problematic eating habits under control, and I’ve been able to go back to the gym consistently. I’ve been pretty happy with my progress, but boy, can selfies be an absolute soul destroyer.

This is the only photo that I found remotely likeable. Props to filters for making my skin look so smooth and perfect!

This is the only photo that I found remotely likeable. Props to filters for making my skin look so smooth and perfect!

I like lingerie body shots, so I try to incorporate them with my reviews. Since I have been battling these mental monsters for most of 2015, updates have been sporadic. I’ve also had some super important stuff on the side to take care of, but hopefully come end of April/May, things will be back to normal (with monsters slayed!). ;) Are people okay with just flat-lays? I always love pictures because they help sooooo much. Because I prefer body shots, I feel like that’s what people want to see.

What brought on these thoughts were pictures I took for this review. I think I look like a troll with no shape. I somehow managed to take a literal thousand or so selfies (I got my friend’s old iPhone 5c, and apparently I held the trigger on the selfie stick too long??), and going through them was like this draining, depressing chore. Despite these bouts of “I hate how I look on film,” I’m actually 80% of the time (at least) happy with my body. As a sweet friend wrote, “Death by selfie!” Seriously, no joke.

Recently, I’ve been on a huge bodysuit kick. I just can’t get enough of them!! As I previously mentioned, I’m all about form and functionality, so poppers/snaps are a must. I guess some people move the bodysuit to the side when they pee, but seriously, do they not poop? You can’t move the bodysuit to the side when you’re doing that… The thought of getting naked to use the toilet isn’t fun for me either, especially if you’re going out and trying not to touch anything in the stall.

Moving right along…

I purchased this gorgeous Lola Haze bodysuit, A Perfect Package, from a stockist.

Lola Haze Perfect Package Teddy (but actually a bodysuit according to Wikipedia definitions :p) (c) Lola Haze.

Lola Haze Perfect Package Teddy (but actually a bodysuit according to Wikipedia definitions :p) (c) Lola Haze.

Here’s the item description:

Please note: Lace pattern may vary slightly from photo. A Perfect Package…of you! This gorgeous teddy will flatter any figure and perfect all your assets. Gold mesh draped front leaves a peek of lace to tantalize, while minimizing your waist and keeping your goodies mysterious.

What an appropriate name for this bodysuit! I’m huge fan of the gold mesh draping, which is like a big hug around your body, and I also love how it provides additional coverage. The lace pattern on my bodysuit is actually a rose-print. The snaps are smooth and and don’t require weird body contortions in order to snap together or snap apart. (I really HATE bodysuits that have the snaps set directly into the fabric because it can cause the fabric to tear if you aren’t un/snapping at the snap.)

Rose Lace Close-up; lace pattern may vary!

Rose Lace Close-up; lace pattern may vary!

When I purchase bodysuits, it gets tricky. For one, I have a long torso with short appendages – think Captain Seamus from Family Guy hah. Most dresses don’t fall at my waistline but rather, at the base of my rib cage. When I’m buying bodysuits, I look for the following:

1. Adjustable straps – this allows for more length in the torso
2. …preferably spaghetti strap-like for more flexibility
3. If the bodysuit is like a fitted top with sleeves or a halter neck, I tend to size up.
*Just to be clear, this isn’t foolproof due to garment proportions.

I purchased this bodysuit in a size medium. Fit is wonderful despite my actual measurements being a few inches larger. The lace and gold mesh are very, very soft and stretchy. This bodysuit is also nicely made. Laura, the owner and designer, designs and creates all of her samples, but the finished product is produced by a factory in NYC.

However, I’m honestly torn about how I look wearing this. Worn alone, I think this bodysuit makes me look super stumpy, and I don’t think this bodysuit “flatters” me. I think part of the problem is how high the leg cuts are on my person, and I loathe that 90s high-cut look. It’s literally the one trend that I hope stays dead. High cuts don’t make my legs look longer; they make my body look incredibly distorted and emphasize any skin or fat I have around my hips.

Avec Monsieur Cat Butt. :3 Leg cuts are high on my body. PS - where did my waist go??

Avec Monsieur Cat Butt. :3 Leg cuts are high on my body. PS – where did my waist go??

That said, none of that is a huge deal breaker because realistically, I’d pair this with a bottom and go along my merry way. :) Truth be told, I’m not ogling myself when I’m wearing lingerie, but the narrative is different when you’re putting your body out there on the internet and are deleting hundreds of pictures from a selfie stick misadventure.

Lola Haze has been around since 2008, and they’ve received all sorts of press coverage from big shots like Vogue, WWD, and Elle. I haven’t seen much about the brand in blogs, which I think is a shame! The price point is comfortable and fair, and your purchase directly supports a designer with ethical production in the US. The bodysuit I purchased retails for $69, which is on par with numerous higher-end brands and is attainable for those with some disposable income.

I received confirmation from Laura that the website is up and running and attended, so if you’re someone who gets a bit anxious about no dated updates (I can’t be the only one, right??) and quiet social media accounts (which are usually not a good sign in the lingerie world), rest assured! Laura responded to my questions promptly and within a few hours, and I have no doubt that your order will be handled with the utmost attention and care!

Last but not least, here’s another wishlist item – I really should get that second part written – that has totally stolen my heart. It would’ve been perfect for Marc Jacob’s rollerina disco-chic NYFW 2015 party… :)

Lola Haze Golden Goddess  Teddy. (c) Lola Haze

Lola Haze Golden Goddess Teddy. (c) Lola Haze

All items in this post were purchased by me. Lola Haze did not ask for this review, nor was I compensated for it. No affiliate links were used.

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1 comment
  1. sheenv said:

    You’re beautiful no matter what the numbers say!

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