I really appreciate the body positivity in the lingerie community, but I’ve noticed one incredibly disheartening thing that seems to be somewhat commonplace: how people positively hate or shame their own bodies. I’m not sure how or why this happens, especially when so many people ensure that their blogs/accounts/etc. are safe spaces.
I took a break from reading or writing about lingerie for awhile because this seriously started messing with my head. I gained a significant amount of weight during the holidays (my clothes no longer fit me properly), and it’s taken me months to get back into the right mindset and attitude. For the longest time, I thought that I wasn’t worthy to wear any of the lingerie I bought because my body wasn’t good enough. Pair this mentality with all the gorgeous gals online denigrating and eviscerating their bodies, I was *done*.
I’m not conventional: I’m Asian, short and a bit stocky with incredibly broad shoulders and a pretty large ass. I don’t fit the mold. Even when I was a size 4, you know the pants I bought in Asia were tagged XXL? There are many, MANY times where I wished that I could be taller, slimmer or have blonde hair and light eyes. Life felt like it would be easier.
But this is the hand I’ve been dealt and at the end of the day, I’m honestly NOT unhappy with myself. I eat well; I work out. Yes, there could be a bit more tightness here, and I wish that some parts weren’t as lumpy, but I don’t suck. I don’t have a shitty body, and even if I’m not a size 6 anymore, I’m still pretty okay.
As women, we are constantly under scrutiny. Why is it that we can’t be kind to ourselves?